Since my placement will be ending relatively soon I am making this my final blog for my time in South Africa. For those of you who have been reading my random thoughts, I hope that they have been helpful in getting a glimpse of what I have experienced here. I know that words and pictures will never capture what my life has been like over the last 10 months, but maybe they allowed you guys to understand my thoughts better.
I can honestly say that I have entered the stage where going home seems more intimidating than being here. This place has become normalized for me and it feels less and less like I am just visiting this country. At some point during the last two months I have entertained the thoughts of what it would be like to stay here and not go home. I have to say that the idea has appealed to me numerous times. No, this does not mean I have decided to stay in South Africa long term, but the fact that I have considered staying represents to me that my time here has not been superficial and has grown some roots. The entire experience I've had here has been difficult on many levels. Being a part of the lives of children who have deep emotional wounds and scars from their past is often heartbreaking but it is also rewarding to see progress and the exuberant light that shines from many of them despite what they have had to endure. These kids are aching to be loved, accepted, and to be shown affection and so I have learned to not hold back in this area and I have tried to shower them with my time, attention, affection, and love. I know that my humanness limits how much I can give so I put my trust in God that he will be their ultimate source.
I have never been good with goodbyes, but this will definitely be one of the hardest ones. It saddens me greatly to know that I will no longer be a part of the children's daily lives and that I will no longer be surrounded by the Zulu people and culture or the absolutely stunning South African landscapes. I do need prayer for my upcoming transition in June when I will leave my placement. I hope that the transition will have a balance of joy and grief.
I will be coming home mid July. It may seem like a while, but time has been moving quickly here for me the last 6 months and so I will be home shortly. I want to thank you all one more time for just being a consistent support to me. Many of you gave to me financially which made this trip a reality for me and I am extremely grateful for that. Others have kept me in their thoughts and prayers and have given me encouragement which I desperately needed. After witnessing hundreds of children around me here experiencing absolute abandonment from family and friends, I will never take the support system I have for granted. So thank you for being in my life and for being committed to living alongside me.
